Dear Mom,

A year ago today my world was turned upside down. A year ago today, I lost the most influential person in my life, and the largest piece of my support system. You were undoubtedly the largest motivating force, and you were my best friend. For that, I am forever grateful.

The Law of Conservation of Energy states that "energy can neither be created, nor destroyed" and it is because of this Law, that I hope we will see each other again. What I hadn't realized this day 365 days ago, was that for everything I lost, I would gain in an exponentially.
I have found strength when I needed it most, I have found wisdom in unconventional places, and I have found love in a way i never thought i could. Coincidence? Maybe, but i think you had a lot to do with it.

Even though I cannot physically see you, I know that you are with me everyday. I know you were with us when your grandson was born, I could feel your strength as Lance kept us waiting for an additional 43.5 hours, because the extra week and a half wasn't enough. But I knew that you would protect him every step of the way.

I often wonder what type of advice I could have gotten from you about parenting. Then again, my "natural" instincts are guided by an invisible hand. Every time I have a question about something or doubt my ability, the answer magically appears, really weird! I mean i'm good at many things, but for answers to magically appear on something i know nothing about, i'd say there are other forces are work here. Now if you could give me that secret, as well as how baby's can make poop go against gravity, i think they're secret scientists from another planet, I'd greatly appreciate it. silver colored items to wear of the evening

But i will tell you this, being a father, is the greatest thing on the face of the planet. I fell in love with Lance, the moment his eyes looked into mine for the first time; and now i udnerstand how much you loved us. For that--I will always be grateful.

Not a day goes by that i don't think about you or miss talking to you on the way home from work. The holidays are tough without you, especially Christmas. Regardless of how much snow was on the ground, or how small the christmas tree, or how small the gift - you were always like a kid in a candy store. Your happiness, regardless of how much you had to sacrifice, is something i will always hold near and dear to my heart.

The world is a big scary place without you, but because of you, I find comfort in knowing that you have helped put me on the right path.

i searched all day for a proper way to show my appreciation, my love, and my gratitude, in closing this letter to you; but once again I was overthinking things. Then i stumbled across a thought I had when i was younger, what if i could paint the world in a way I had always imagined it to be? Then it hit me, In the movie What Dreams May Come, screenwriter Richard Matheson wrote: "Thank you...for gracing my life with your lovely presence, for adding the sweet measure of your soul to my existence." For without it, I would not be who I am today.

Love Always,

J